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March 06 2017

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you know what i want?? a representation of the seven deadly sins where for once lust isnt the only woman and is instead a horny friendzone dudebro

holy shit

A frat house of deadly sins:

Lust, the guy who hits on everyone regardless of whether or not they seem inclined to reciprocate, also known as the guy who considers his own pleasure the endgame of any encounter, consistently failing to give a shit about other people’s comfort or satisfaction;

Gluttony, the guy who overindulges in everything regardless of whether or not it was offered in moderation or offered out of politeness, also known as the guy who’s always high off other people’s weed and drunk off other people’s beer, consistently failing to respect the unspoken standards of politeness;

Greed, the guy who lays claim to every object of ambiguous origin left behind after a party, also known as the guy who hoards things he’s fully aware he’ll never use before they expire or will simply never use at all, consistently failing to demonstrate an awareness of the basic concept of sharing;

Sloth, the guy who only demonstrates any agency when the possibility of getting someone else to do his work for him arises, also known as the guy who will actually expend more energy trying to get out of making a basic effort than the basic effort itself would have required, consistently failing to do much of anything;

Wrath, the guy who finds a way to pick a fight with anyone nearby regardless of the circumstances, also known as the guy who’s formed an elaborate system of self-justifications to excuse his violent behaviours rather than attempt to curb his temper, consistently failing to take responsibility for his actions;

Envy, the only nice guy in the house, also known as the guy who thinks the world and everyone in it owes him something regardless of whether or not he’s done anything to deserve it, consistently failing to recognize that basic acts of human decency do not entitle him to the regard and attentions of others;

and Pride, the guy whose stories keep getting longer every time you hear them, also known as the guy who can’t stand not to be the centre of attention and who only starts conversations with others in the interests of talking about himself, consistently failing to take into account the fact that literally no one likes a person who feels compelled to engage everyone around them in constant games of self-congratulatory one-upmanship.

They are insiduous people, these frat brothers, primarily because you know people exactly like them and could never quite put your finger on why they’re so goddamned infuriating.

the sons of the white suburban moms of the apocalypse

the white suburban moms of the apocalypse:

war: stands up at the pta meeting to remind everyone evolution is just a theory and shouldn’t be taught in science class

famine: invited you over for dinner but everything’s vegan and gluten-free

pestilence: didn’t vaccinate her fucking kids and now the whole neighborhood’s got measles

death: on the way to sign her divorce papers and you just put regular instead of sugar-free syrup in her half-caf no whip caramel latte

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An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. 
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me 
with a smile that lit up her entire being. 

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. 

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the 
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” 
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. 

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and 
she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. 

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was 
introduced and stepped up to the podium.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell 
you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop 
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. 

You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing 
older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. 

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. 
Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those 
with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died 
peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s 
never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.


We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

this is the best thing I have ever read in my life

This is truly inspirational

No I’m not crying, my eyes are just leaking.

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With 3D printing in a few years we’ll feasibly be able to torrent a lego set.

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Christine Teigen is a gift to this world

I wish my grandma would just tell me I’m the princess of Genovia by now so I can drop out of school.
@therelatabletexts (via therelatabletexts)
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I live in New York and I love it, because it doesn’t make me feel like my life is always just about acting and that world of acting. I don’t have expectations.

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Follow me

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i need this picture posted right now immediately


I really could go for… a cup of coffee… a sense of purpose… maybe $20,000… idk I’m just thinking out loud


when you go on a talk show to promote your new album and then accidentally become a single father of three with a dog:

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